It's a TEN

A blog worthy milestone: The Bradlee Duncan's celebrated 10 years of marriage this month. Here's the thing about marriage (mawage...). You can never predict what problems you will face as newly wedded and blissed out on love. And the problems you do inevitably face as a couple, as a family, and as a deeply flawed human being, are never what you think they will be. At our ten year mark I'm not going to write that I'm grateful for the challenges we have faced, even though I might admit that sentiment in an honest conversation with a friend. That particular colloquialism has the tendency to sound trite. Because those challenges are real, are hard, it hurts, and we are equally human. I will say that marriage continues to be a refining process for both of us and if there is one thing I know for certain, it is we are yoked in this partnership equally together. I'm often amazed at where his strengths pick up where I'm lacking and vice versa. Ultimately I'm grateful for his easy temperament and passion for life. He's thoughtful and the true romantic in our relationship. He's my confidant and sounding board. My #1 fan. He sticks his long bony cold freezing feet on me. every. single. night. But you know what? He's still the one.

With two young babies and newly house poor it wasn't in the cards for extravagant gift giving or vacationing this year. Brad took the day off of work which was absolute heaven for me. We had lunch at our favorite little cafe in the avenues just like we did after our temple ceremony and just like we do every year on our anniversary. We hiked Ensign Peak. We had take-out pizza for dinner. We played with our kids with the purpose of really enjoying them. It was a right perfect day indeed.

Happy Anniversary my love. I love us.

Skiing the foothills

BD was invited to ski the foothills just above our house with some friends. It was a chilly hazy morning in the valley, but above the haze he said it was sunny and warm. My friend Jane could see them skiing down from her front porch, but they were just out of my sight over the ridge. Poor guy, skiing is such a passion for him but he rarely has the opportunity to hit the slopes (sometimes being an adult really bites, ya know?). Plus, I've been pregnant the last two winters and haven't been much encouragement. He is already talking about taking Bee; makes momma's heart skip!

 

 

 

 

"Did I catch a niner in there?"

Fact: nine years ago today married my best friend. It's been a wild ride! Sometimes BD will snuggle against me and say "I love my life with you." It's such a small thing, but oh how I love to hear those simple words. The feeling is completely mutual. I thought it would be more romantic to meet him at a restaurant for dinner (instead of my usual frantic rush around the house) and he was so surprised that I showed up without Bee! (Thank our lucky stars for Aunt Jen!). I had such butterflies driving over to meet him. When I pulled up, he greeted me with a big kiss, flowers, and a small gift. I'll never forget it! It was fun to have a quiet dinner alone with him and no little fingers grabbing at water glasses and dropping napkins. We only talked about Bee most of the time. We got home in time for daddy to read Bee a bedtime story and indulge with some of our favorite treats. It was pretty perfect. For our 9th anniversary we did something totally hip and sexy and spontaneous and ... bought a couch. Happy AnniversaryMerryChristmasBirthdayfor5years to us!
I love you, my loverness ;)

A Birthday

...Still trying to master the family-style one-hander. Can't seem to get my face in check.

BD turned Thirty ONE-derful this week and I've been making a giant point of telling him how Thirty ONE-derful he is everyday. All annoying, like that too. Phoebes and I whipped up some cupcakes that morning and took him out to lunch. This guy. I tell you what. He gets more handsome as he ages, which is completely unfair, but also really great for me! What I love about him on his 31st Birthday:

• He always kisses me hello and goodbye. Without Fail. Every. Time. 
• When he comes home from work he will scoop Phoebe into his arms, hug her tightly and smell her. (She smells good!)
• He fights fair.
• If we are watching an intense movie, he sort of perches on his feet into a squat during the intense parts. 
• He is the biggest geek. I love it! Just last night he took 5 minutes to explain why he wanted/needed a DAC Headphone Amplifier and how it worked. It took every ounce of concentration I had to 1) keep up with what he was saying, and 2) not laugh. I failed at both. I love him so much for it.
• He would do anything for Phoebe. 
• He would do anything for me.
• A couple weeks ago he non-nonchalantly goes on about how we should have 3 babies of our own, then adopt some more. Possibly two siblings. From Brazil, maybe? And while I don't know if that exact scenario is in the cards for us, I love that he thinks about our family in this way.  
• Mr. Friendly Pants. He is just a good egg at heart and loves to be a part of things and help serve where he is needed. We've been a part of this neighborhood and building for 7+ years and sometimes I am mistaken for being "new." But then I say, "I'm Brad Duncan's wife" and folks are always like, "Oh yeah! Brad is so great!" I know people. That's why I married him!
• Sometimes driving in the car he'll take my hand, look back at Bee, and say "we have her" with the biggest proudest grin you ever did see.
• If there is only one left, he will give it to me. Doesn't matter what it is.
• He is constantly setting goals for himself to be healthier, more productive, and just mo'betta! It is very inspiring.
• He loves to cook dinner. Meaning he brings home his favorite fajita burritos from Chipotle. I never complain when he offers to cook dinner.
• I never doubt where I stand with him, because he is constantly telling me how much he loves me and why.
• He has a tendency to be hard-headed, but only about things he feels absolutely, positively, undoubtedly sure of. And those are exactly the things one should be hard-headed about. 
• He is ticklish. So soooooooo ticklish.
• He is a really good companion. If I need help, I know he'll help me. If I need space, he will back off. He will reassure me when I need it most.
• I can't imagine my life without him. We are growing up together and figuring life out as we go. It's the best kind of awesome.

A Father's First

These two. They hold my whole heart. Is there anything sweeter than a father and his daughter? BD has embraced fatherhood like a rockstar. I love to hear him quietly talking and cooing at her in the middle of the night when he gets up to change her diaper, swaddle, and bring her back to me. Phoebes and I are lucky to have him as our main man. We celebrated his very first Father's Day this past weekend with breakfast in bed and a lazy Sunday at home. He wanted nothing more than to snuggle his baby girl all day. I made an entire batch of cookie dough just for him, and not for cookies, because that's how much we love this guy.

Killin' time

BD here. 'Round here there's been lots of time killin' going on while we're waiting for this thing called a baby. I've been instructed that it is actually *not* helpful to remind Gina every few minutes that the baby is not here yet. So...I've taken advantage of the down time over the long weekend and finished a video of our adventures in Australia. I tell you what, that little Hero2 that I splurged on just minutes before the trip is quite the amazing camera and worth every penny. Sometimes when I watch this video I wonder how we got so lucky. Sit back, make sure it's in HD, click on full screen mode, and enjoy.

Brazil Video: Travel Flashback

Brazil 2010 from B&G Duncan on Vimeo.

It's starting to feel like a lifetime ago that we went to Brazil, even though technically it was just last winter. BD really really wanted a new underwater camera for Australia so he could "make cool videos ... about the baby, too." Uh-huh. My only condition was that he needed to finish the Brazil video he started over a year ago before he started on any brand new video projects. He got his camera (surprise surprise), and just last night finished his Brazil video. I love it.
P.S. I know I have an eye-rolling problem while on camera. It's entirely annoying. I'm working on it.

A big one: BD's 30!

Someone had a birthday this past weekend. We started the day with toasted pumpkin bagels smeared with whipped pumpkin cream cheese, because it seemed very very necessary for a fall birthday breakfast. Is it just me or do some men become more attractive as they age? Seems unfair. Then again, I don't have to change the oil. So. We finished the day with a beautiful dinner at Sundance accompanied by BD's family-we were late-but it was his birthday after all so no one seemed too upset. Whew! I was almost able to surprise him. But, no. He's more observant of my quirky behavior than I could ever give him credit for. As we were driving to dinner and I uncharacteristically wasn't having an ever-loving meltdown about the possibility of being late to a scheduled event and did not even attempt to call the restaurant and rearrange our romantic dinner reservation for two: he was totally on to me. It was also the twins birthday this week so we celebrated everyone together with rounds of apple pie and peach cobbler. Perfect company, perfectly fall.

On the way home I asked him what he wanted to do with his next thirty years.  
Raise a family with you, of course!
And so I say, he's a good man this birthday boy. One of the best, I think.

I've been working on another picture book filled with our traditional one handed self-portrait snapshots. It arrived just in time to justify it as pre-birthday gift. I must say, through all the ups and downs that were our twenties, we have had some fun, he and I.

 Happy Birthday BD!!

Tour of Utah, America's Toughest Stage Race

I couldn't attempt to document the rest of our summer without plugging the Tour of Utah. BD gets so. very. excited. for this race each summer, and this year was the most excited I've ever seen him. Few things in life get him this pumped. He talked non-stop about "the Tour" for weeks leading up to the race, and well, the cycling chatter didn't exactly slow down during the race itself. There were some big names in the field this year, many of these guys had just been at the Tour de France. Fun to see a small race grow in our backyard. We saw as much as we could live, and BD was glued to his phone or computer otherwise. Admittedly, I did a lot of eye-rolling during the event but truthfully I love that he is so passionate for this sport. The final stage was my favorite, with a big mountain loop and hill climb finish to Snowbird. There were hundreds of screaming crazy cycling fans at Tanner Flats up Little Cottonwood Canyon cheering on the riders as they passed. Go Levi!

Let's pretend my face isn't that chubby normally, mmmkay?

 

Happiness is

watching BD blow that blasted plastic vuvuzela like it's his job, and it basically was this weekend at the TofU!

Being Uncle Brad

7.4.11

After all the Fourth of July hype of the slip 'n slide, swimming, elevator rides, lunch, and a way-too-short-for-mom nap in the car seat Ellie cuddled up to Brad with binky and blankie while we watched the Tour. She kept still for a solid half hour or so. A rare occasion, you could imagine, for a perpetually busy and curious little toddler. Ellie would pat his hand softly with one hand and twirl her hair with the other. A beautiful sweet moment, forever imprinted in my mind. I think Brad's heart grew three sizes that day. There's something to be said about being an aunt or an uncle that allows for a little reprieve for mom or dad and where there's no guilt in sneaking extra bites of ice cream from the kitchen.

29 going on 80 and other holiday weekend highlights

I'm not joking when I say we packed our Fourth of July weekend pretty solid. It caused my body to ache all over from the intense amount of fun we had. BBQ at mom's. Dinner with the Duncan's. Bike races. Hayley and Jody's engagement photos. Patriotic choir performances. More family togetherness. More eating. More fun. More fireworks. More fun I tell you!

BD's bubble-blowing cheer section

My boss passed me his tickets to The Stadium of Fire last minute and we couldn't turn them down, being that we're all about fun. Country music and fireworks in your home town is as patriotic as it gets. I'm hesitant to admit that we did wear ear-plugs and had every intention of leaving before the fireworks ended if it were not for being stuck in the middle of a very long row. We didn't want to be those people. You know. So we took one for the team and stuck it out through all the fun. Because we are 29 going on 30, not 80.

On the way home we had a lengthy discussion about whether having kids makes you more fun. I'm not sure what the consensus was, because I fell asleep.

San Diego & BD's New/Old Benz

BD has been on the hunt for a cheap commuter car that can get him to work and back a few times per week. You know, for those days when cycling 45 miles to the office just isn't convenient. I knew he had found the one when I received a g-chat that simply read:
"we need to talk"
 {long pause}
 "it's about a car"
A few days later we were in San Diago and ready to drive it home! And well, since it was in San Diego, CA and not Nowheresville, USA I tagged along for some weekend adventure. Meet Bruce.

1984 Mercedez-Benz 190d ("d" stands for diesel and for duh! that is all BD will drive)

You see that? That is the face of a happy boy with a new toy. That is also the face of an embarrassed man whose wife is standing smack in the middle of a busy road taking a picture of him leaning against an old car. Wait, would I get more blog-cred if I used the word "vintage" instead? Bruce is nearly as vintage as we are and surprisingly needs minimal work, but has enough small projects to keep BD thoroughly occupied and happily tinkering.
Once the car was officially ours it became clear after just a few hours that this vehicle was, for sure, a male. You just know. We threw around some names, but Bruce has ultimately stuck. (runner up: Run-DMC). Why Bruce? Let me break it down:

• Bruce is a classy name; fit only for classy guys (my Uncle Bruce!) or in this case, a classy car.
• Bruce was kindofabigdeal in 1984! Not unlike a certain Bruce Springsteen.
• If Bruce could he would be sporting a knit square-end tie and wayfarers (both items I believe BD should incorporate into his wardrobe asap) to coordinate with those tan pleather seats.
• Bruce's personality is clearly laid-back and practical, which is easy to be when your automatic sunroof still works and you squeeze an impressive 40 mpg. Nicely done Bruce, nicely done.

6.11.11 Ocean Beach, San Diego, CA

The name fits, doesn't it? We spent our weekend in San Diego getting to know Bruce and sourcing out the best fish tacos. When in Rome, right? We also went running along the Sunset Cliffs, watched a paddle-surfing competition, devoured banana bread french toast, played a bit of tennis, and utilized all the free stuff our hotel could offer. The trip home was interesting without A/C. I assure you that chocolate milkshake from In-n-Out was for my survival only. Nothing like a drive through the desert with the windows down to remind you of just how high-maintenance you really are.

Here's to a rainy Mother's Day

BD here. We just got home from a relaxing weekend away where there were no alarm clocks. I made sure of that. It was just what we needed. Although, there was that incident with the toilet...

While every day holds something that reminds me of my mom, Mother's Day is a great time to actively remember her on my terms because I don't do it enough in the hustle-bustle of everyday life. Gina and I reminisced about both of our mothers at various times throughout the weekend. Driving down the canyon today I remembered with shock that she's been gone nearly 8 years next month. For Mother's Day 8 Years ago my siblings and I went to Color-Me-Mine and each designed a plate for her, then presented them while she was in the hospital. They are still hanging in my dad's kitchen.

Mom and Grandma in the kitchen - ca. 2001

When I actively remember her, there are some things that I particularly cherish:

• She had as much influence on me marrying Gina as I did. Seriously.
• She slept in a hotel one night because we had a fugitive snake loose in the house. (OK, it was probably my brother or me that left the cage door slightly ajar) 
• She once traded a house.
• She and my grandma had a wonderfully close relationship; that must be why I love talking with my grandma.
• She trucked me around the Intermountain West to appease my crazy mountain biking addiction throughout my adolescence.
• In fact she eagerly supported every whim, interest, or talent that I ever had.
• She teased me because Gina had a bike before she had "the ring."
• The wing.
• Taking walks in the woods on family camping trips.
• She never forgot anything, especially the important stuff... right down to the hour of the day it happened. 
• She made everything special with her "touch."
• She had a heart that didn't fit in her body. 
• After she was gone we found out hundreds of small acts of kindness that she had done for people that no one in the family knew anything about. 
• She had to wait nearly 10 years before having her first child (me!) which is now something I know a little about and will forever honor the pain and desire she felt to be a parent. 
• I love her for not giving up.

The MOST Important Women in my life (Leaving for Brazil - ca. 2001)

Lastly, I vividly remember that she loved Sunday Brunch. Gina and I were luckily able to carry on the legacy of the family Sunday Brunch today and I'm sure we'll continue it far into the years to come with our own family. While I skipped the State Crit championships at Pioneer Park, it was much better to get away and spend some quality time with the Mrs. and without the bike.

"All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother." - Abraham Lincoln

Thanks for letting me indulge here.

Thoughts on Date Night

This is certain to be an over-share, but one of the things we put a lot of focus on in our marriage are Date Nights. With no need for a babysitter every night is date night! Right? Wrong. We can be in the same room at the same time but not exactly on the same planet. My favorite scenario is when we're snuggling on the couch seemingly spending quality time together but simultaneously both of us are thumbing away on our phones pretending not to work with the TV singing in the background and you know what? I've never really noticed how boney your elbow has become, please remove it from my ribcage before I remove it from your body.
We're getting better at scheduling "us" time but it does take a valiant effort. Courtesy of a smart husband, I have tickets to the theatre pinned to my refrigerator right this very minute. He gets me - I need good stuff to look forward to. But it doesn't always require reservations or cost money. Recently a perfect date night involved finding $7 pajamas at Old Navy and stopping for a frozen yogurt on the way home. I've found that by simply calling it 'date night' we become unintentionally tuned in to each others needs. He's less likely to numb out while I spend an obscene amount of time deliberating over what is sure to be the wrong size. I'm less likely to publicly object with a gagging reflex when he tops his yogurt with disgusting flavor combination's. WINNING!

It was cold and snowy all weekend and I instinctively knew that we'd burrow in at home Friday night, fish something to eat from the recesses of the freezer, and I'd be dead to the world in my $7 pajamas before 9 pm. So earlier that day I emailed BD an official invitation to Date Night with instructions that we each needed to prepare 10 interview questions for each other. I could tell he was skeptical, but he obliged. BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT, YOU SEE. Sometime that evening we unplugged from everything and commenced the interviews. For added drama, I placed a pencil behind my ear. It felt great to have each others' full attention and we laughed and even cried through some of the questions. Ok, I cried. There. The questions spurred more questions, which then became the topics of Saturday morning brunch over mile high biscuits. My point is, I feel really lucky to share my life with someone.

His life in iPhone pics

1.3.11 Spotted: Lamborghini Murcielago

2.8.11 Brrrrrr, Business Trip

3.7.11 Rescued by Wifey

3.8.11 Driveable Igloo

3.16.11 Real v. Saprissa

3.16.11 Ellie Time

3.22.11 Virtual Shopping for G

3.29.11 Sick Day at Alta

I love you, too

I love you because you iron my skirts on Sunday morning
I love you because you buckle my snow boots
and change my flat tires
and glue the soles of my shoes back together when they start to flap around
I love you because you kiss me goodbye in the morning
and you never forget to kiss me hello in the evening
I love you because you are deeply passionate about heaps of things
like your work, and cycling, and perfecting the homemade cheese quesadilla
I love you because you care a lot about the world in which we live
and I know that because you write to the governor, senator, and mayor on a regular basis
I think it's rather cute
I love you because you are the worlds greatest researcher
driven by facts, you are
I love you because you make riding public transportation cool(er)
I love you because you eat everything I cook
and pretend like it's the best thing you've ever put in your mouth
even when we both know it's not
I love you because you are not afraid of little tiny infant babies
or the bigger walking talking babies either
I love you because you are genuine
I love you because you are forgiving
funny thing,
I love you because you are strangely picky about the clothes you wear
which makes shopping with you extra fun
but only when you have a specific item that you need
otherwise you require a lot of treats
I love you because you have really big ideas
and I'm sorry when I roll my eyes
I don't meant it
I love you because you ask me everyday have I told you that I love you today?
and I sheepishly respond no because I want to hear you say it again
everyone likes to hear that they are loved
especially me
and that's why today
I wanted to be the first to say
I love you, too

*This has been sitting in my drafts pile for several months now, waiting for an opportunity to publish. I began writing it right after watching BD glue my running shoes back together so carefully. I remember feeling incredibly grateful for all those little things that over time become hugely important to a committed relationship. I give myself leave to write something for BD a few times a year, Birthday's, Anniversary's and Valentine's. On this blog, sap happens. Thanks for reading anyway!

The rest of Rio, New Year's Eve Day

It seems that every where we looked in Brazil there was some sort of graffiti or street art. If there's a wall, it has paint on it. As you can see, some of it is quite good. You can tell a lot about the neighborhood you're in based on the street art nearby. We saw everything from soccer to politics to religion to famous icons.

As much as we would have loved to stay for just one more day in Rio to be there during New Year's Eve, we couldn't justify another $3000+ in airfare and hotel for just one more night. Today we found out Madonna performed that night and we've been crying in our room ever since.

Because we weren't headed to Copacabana for the actual big bash, we found ourselves in the Centro district again after visiting Niterói across the bay. Having been to the Centro on a previous day, to say we were shocked at the lack of people would be an understatement. Here are two pictures of the same road, the one on the left is Wednesday at 3pm, the one on the right is Friday (New Year's Eve) at 3pm. The city literally just died.

We felt like we had the entire city to ourselves. It was a little bit eerie but we noticed things like the beautiful cobblestone sidewalks a little bit more. We were able to snap a few photos that would normally have hundreds of people walking by in the background.

Rio Branco Avenue

In front of the Municipal Theatre

Seemingly deserted street

Even though our time in Rio was short, we saw everything we wanted to. On that last day, all of our clothes were dirty, we were exhausted and a little sunburned, but satisfied and ready to be home. We lucked out and were able to find a taxi to the airport and while THIS was going on at Copacabana, we had our own little celebration on the plane somewhere over South America. Take that Madonna.