A LittleMAN to Love

We're experiencing a little bout of déjà vu this January. Except this time, we're thrilled to know our new little bee is a LITTLEMAN! My heart was racing so fast laying up on that table with my belly exposed and watching my littleman squirm and dance around on screen. He was a maniac! Arms and hands flying everywhere. Legs kicking towards my ribs. Hands clenching and lips moving. All four chambers of the heart pumping and active. It's really quite unbelievable.
This little guy has stolen our hearts away already. Having two babies is becoming more of a reality by the minute. Having one of each seems about right for our little family. As tradition would have it, we stopped by Babinski's on the way home and purchased some blue high-top tiny Tom's for the new babe.

BD is about as proud as any dad could possibly be, he literally gasped when the technician stated that it was a boy. Daddy was very selective about picking out the first outfit. Lions! He seemed a little bummed that they didn't have anything in stock with a bicycle on it. But something tells me, junior will not have a shortage of bikes and gear in his future.

Phoebe says, "I'm confused. You said I was getting a baby brother. So why can't I eat the blue frosted cupcake?" Sorry to tease you baby girl! She will be the best big sister to her brother! We hope :).

The Story of a Surprise Pregnancy

One evening last October I wrote the following in my (other) journal:

“Tonight after [Phoebe’s] bath we nursed and she snuggled with me in the rocker. I sang and hummed "Teach Me to Walk in the Light" over and over and over. It's our favorite lullaby. Tonight she hummed along with me, making soft cooing noises through her binky. She was tucked into the crook of my arm and nuzzled against my chest. She loves to hold my fingers as she falls to sleep. As her eyes were getting heavier and heavier her grasp became tighter and tighter. Having a baby fall asleep in your arms is the greatest honor, it says: it is safe here and I trust you. The feeling came over me that I will have more children. I don't know how or when, but it doesn't matter tonight. I am simply grateful to know that I may have the chance to rock another baby. The thought makes me happy beyond belief. I am one blessed momma.”

In other words, I was oblivious to what Heavenly Father was trying to help me understand that night. It was still nearly two weeks later when I finally clued in to the signs my body was giving me and discovered that I was 2 months pregnant! It was the most unexpected happy surprise of my life. I’m sure any mother who has longed for or waited for children will agree with me when I say there are no accidents.
Yes, there were clues. I had started to notice that while breastfeeding Phoebe I would often feel nauseated. Weird, certainly. But hormones, ya know? I was only 3 months postpartum after all. Naturally, everything in our house was still being blamed on hormones.
Typically I use Bee's nap time to conquer quiet jobs around the house, like folding clothes or eating M&M's. One day I walked into my bedroom, looked longingly at my bed and decided to lay down for a quick rest. Only, I fell into a deep deep sleep and awoke dazed and confused by Phoebe's crying in the next room. After several days of this I started to think I was becoming extremely lazy. Unless. 
Our niece Ellie turned the grand ole age of 3 and her momma threw a darling little birthday party for her, equipped with a yummy dessert table chockablock full of naughty things I would normally devour at one such celebration. But that night, I wasn't even remotely tempted by any of those treats. What? Who? Impostor! So that had me thinking. 
I scanned the calendar events on my iPad searching for little signs that might help this magical mystery tour along. BD went out of town, here. DeeDee and I talked about this and that right around, then. I counted back using the very scientific method of my fingers. I scratched my head some more. And started to wonder.
The only way to put this nonsense to rest was to actually take a test. I spent the weekend waiting for an opportune time to sneak away to the pharmacy alone. I decided not to breathe a word of my delusions to BD because after years of negative pregnancy tests, why open a door that might not need opening? No such occasion presented itself. In the meantime more nausea, more tiredness, more food repulsions. And..I knew.
On a brisk fall Monday morning after BD had kissed us goodbye, I strapped Bee into her car-seat announcing Adventure! and drove straight to the pharmacy. I cried the whole way there. Because I knew. I cried the whole way home. Because I knew. I put Bee down for a nap and hunkered into the bathroom. I bought several tests of varying brands, because that's what you do. I read the instructions meticulously even though it was highly unnecessary and got straight to work. The paper says to wait at least 2 minutes before reading the results. Well, I'm here to say that's a long 2 minutes. 
Only it didn't take longer than 3 seconds for that second little line to appear. I stood over the sink staring at this positive home pregnancy test in my hand. Shock, awe, and wonder rushed through my veins. I was finally having that bathroom moment where suddenly the world teeters on its axis and you feel like you've been let-in on the greatest secret of all time. Only you and God and that baby know. Clutching my mushy postpartum stomach I took an exasperated breath and laughed out loud through happy tears.
I was terribly confused. For one, we didn't think I could ever get pregnant on my own. Birth control was far off my radar, and honestly, so was baby making (ha!). I mean, it was SO hard to achieve a single pregnancy with Phoebe. We were elated that IVF was an option for us and it had worked once! BD and I had just barely had a conversation about how much and how fast we wanted to save money for the inevitable next round of IVF. For two, I was exclusively breastfeeding and most women don't even...sigh. The short if it; I'm happy to say that I am not most women!
Then there was the business of sharing this wonderful (and shocking, and scary) news with my baby daddy, who was in the middle of his work day, nestled in his cubicle, probably on the phone, completely oblivious to what is happening back home. This would be fun! I schemed and schemed but my resources were limited and so was my energy (duh! because I am pregnant!). I gathered the tests, a sharpie, and a clean diaper. 
BD's normal routine when getting home from work included swooping Bee up for millions of hugs and kisses and holy cow momma! She has grown an inch today! We have the cutest baby in the world! kind of nonsense. He changes her diaper while I finish dinner (and sometimes by "finish" I mean preheating the oven, and by "dinner" I mean frozen pizza). When he arrived home that night Bee was still dozing in her afternoon nap. I had to keep my act together for another 25 minutes until she finally woke up. Torture. I asked BD to get her up and change her diaper and I would be in to feed her in just a minute. You must know, I am not cool under pressure so I awkwardly followed him to the nursery and watched him from the doorway like some sort of diaper changing stalker.
Eventually he discovered the diaper with a special message engraved in Sharpie from Bee saying "I'm going to be a big sister!" He screamed "WHAT?!" so loud it startled and scared Phoebe half to death. I came bursting into the room with a fist full of pregnancy tests jumbling my words together like a shake of Boogle. Phoebe was hysterical and confused and trying to roll off the changing table. Brad was attempting to keep her down and give me a hug all while trying not to faint. All three of us were crying. Looking back, it was a pretty great moment. One that would change the course of all our lives much sooner than this little family ever expected. Oh how wonderful life's surprises can truly be.

Phoebe's First Thanksgiving Surprise!

We had so much fun sharing this little video with our families over Thanksgiving. My side of the family was a bit scattered this year, so BD threw together this video announcing Phoebe's BIG Promotion the day we left for Arizona so everyone could find out the same day, same way. The video, starring none other than Ms. Bee, is darling, but I wish I had a video of everyone's reaction as they watched!! Because it would be priceless.

Phoebe's First Thanksgiving from B&G Duncan on Vimeo.

So there you have it! By some miraculous twisty twist of fate I am expecting again! I'm 12 weeks pregnant, due the middle of June, which puts these two turkeys of mine just 12.5 months apart (Gasp!). Trust me.

You.

Can not.

Believe.

The.

Shock...

A Letter to Baby Bee: The Birth Story (part II)

{This is so long. But how do you compress the most significant event in your whole life? xo}

Dear Baby Bee,
On the night you were born I held you tight in my arms, kissed your irresistible soft lips and whispered I love you, Phoebe over and over. You looked at me with eyes wide open and I recognized you immediately because we were not strangers, you and I, we were finally together again. But there is even more to it than that...
After getting settled in at the hospital the nurse had taken my vitals, began monitoring your heart rate, and reassured me that I was absolutely without a doubt positively in labor having a baby today. And dilated 4 cm! My heart was giddy and your dad sent out text messages from my bedside alerting family and friends that you were on the way. Nowhere in my psyche was I planning on having a June baby. I looked at the clock and realized we had a lot of work to do before midnight. 
As the contractions intensified your dad and the nurses began assisting me with breathing iiiiiiiin ... and ouuuut ... I couldn't wait to get off my back and out of that hospital bed to take a bath, walk around, or at least lean forward. Dr. Lash came to check on us and see how things were progressing. At around 4:00 pm he broke my water and instantly he and the nurse looked at each other and exchanged a series of Oh! Ohhhhhhh. Ohs. There was meconium in my amniotic fluid. 

I could tell that Dr. Lash was troubled as he gently explained what the meconium meant and the possible risk that you could aspirate that fluid into your lungs when you take your first breaths. This revelation changed the course of the labor and it meant that I would need to remain in bed (epidural please!) with an IV pushing fluids through the uterus in order to flush as much meconium from me as possible. It also meant that when you were born they would immediately rush you away to ensure your health and safety. My heart sunk, but I accepted that I might have to wait a little longer to hold you in my arms. 
The anesthesiologist had to come back and juice-up the epidural after a couple more hours of labor because I was still feeling every contraction just as before. I'm convinced that hospital beds were not designed for laboring mothers, but anyway. Once I was finally feeling comfortable around 7:00 pm the nurse checked me again. "I can tug on all that dark hair!" she said once. Um....what? There must be some mistake, our baby is bald! The notion that you might have hair had never crossed our minds. My anticipation only grew and I wanted you out so badly. The epidural, while thankfully taking the edge off my pain, was also stalling the progression of labor at 7 cm dilation. Dr. Lash suggested I start on pitocin if I wanted to have this baby in May. By then I was in the very delightful get.the.baby.out.now phase of labor. By 10:00 pm I was fully dilated and ready to push. 
As they prepped the room for delivery your father sat excitedly by my bedside and held my hand. There was so much emotion in those last moments. We were here, after this long journey together, about to see our baby girl. All of a sudden the last 10 months seemed to flash by me in an instant. I felt no fear. I only wanted you in my arms. I asked him not to leave your side, to go with you wherever they take you after the birth and never take his eyes off you. As a few people bustled about in the room, the nurse prepped me about pushing, when and for how long. The epidural hadn't knocked out my legs and thankfully I had control of my own motion. I was ready!
The next 20 minutes until you were born were ... well, I don't even know how to describe it. I've been sitting on this letter for 2 months, not being able to articulate this part of your birth story accurately. I could feel the pressure of your body moving within mine. My body was telling me it was time to push.There was pressure, really uncomfortable pressure. There was pushing, about 5 hard pushes. There was love, encouragement, and sensitivity from the few that were there. Then suddenly after one strong push I felt you slip out. Just like that. All the pressure and pain just slipped right out. 

My body collapsed on the bed and I barely had the energy to crane my neck to see them wisk you away. I could hear your first cries from across the room and, baby girl, that is a sound I'll never forget. 

Dr. Lash got to work delivering the placenta. Only, the placenta wouldn't deliver. The situation got a little hairy and very unpleasant from here. But ultimately, the placenta was manually extracted (i.e. ripped out) and everything was fine. That was by far the worst part of your whole delivery.
When things had finally calmed down and mother and baby were both doing fine, your father brought you over to my bedside bundled like a burrito. I promptly unwrapped you like a present so I could see, touch, and feel the perfect little body which housed your spirit. Better than all the Christmases of my life wrapped in one moment. I poured over all your little features: long fingers and toes, big wide eyes, plump lips, round face and cheeks. Holy Cheeks! You had a scrumptious roll of fat at the back of your neck, evidence that you were in me for too long my dear. You reached up and touched my face with the back of your hand and I spoke softly to you, tears running down my checks. You are here and you are mine and you are perfect. And you are here! Thank God that you are here. 
Our lives will never be the same. Which is perfectly alright by me. Welcome, little one. 

Love, 
Momma   
 

PS, I had to include this photo because it's one of daddy's favorites

 

Hello Due Date...

Goodbye due date! Not much to report here in the baby delivery department. We're doing what we can to "encourage" Little Bee on her way into this world (including walking, acupuncture, sugar comas) but she seems pretty content to lay low where she's at. She's all about the element of surprise, this one, and loves to make us wait. It's pretty much her thing. So we wait. And it's cool.

The Belly - 40 Weeks Pregnant

But in other news, the sunsets this week have been amazing. Absolutely breathtaking. Usually at some point in the evening one of us will perk up and suddenly say "look outside!" and we drop everything to witness the sun setting. We love to sit out on our deck on these cool spring evenings and soak up the golden lighting. I can't wait for Little Bee to join our evening porch sits. Daddy promises to keep his geeky science chatter to a minimum. Momma promises there will be popsicles.

A Letter to Baby Bee: 35 Weeks and it's getting hot in here

Dear Baby Bee,
At 35 weeks pregnant, your due date is sneaking up. I can now tell people that I'm having this baby next month. I'm beginning to wonder if sleeping on my stomach was really as amazing as I remember. Walking around with a space heater strapped to my abdomen, I am starting to see why all pregnancies must come to an end. It wasn't that long ago that I would have wanted to stay pregnant forever. But even my most roomy maternity clothes, the ones I thought would never fit, are now even becoming a little snug. It feels like you are growing bigger by the minute, your movements becoming stronger and more deliberate than ever, sometimes they literally take my breath away. All of these are good signs that soon we will meet.

It's best that I concentrate on the meeting you part, rather than the getting you out part. Because, HOOEY! how that is all going to happen is one big giant mystery that I can't yet comprehend. We took a Childhood Preparation class at the hospital. I've been reading all I can about labor and delivery. I've been asking everyone I know to share their own experiences. But even still, I'm not sure there is anything that can really prepare me. It's both terrifying and exciting all at once. We have faith it will work out in the end. Things generally do.

We've been working feverishly on preparing your nursery - with lots of help from Aunt Jen - and making sure it's just right. This is mostly for my benefit rather than for yours, but for some strange reason it feels really really important that it gets done. The room is bright and cheery; it's our favorite place in the house to be. Now, when your dad comes home he knows to find me in the nursery instead of the kitchen or living room. We can hardly walk past your room without stepping into it and running a hand over the crib rail. It sounds silly, but trust me, this is all very exciting for us.

While my nesting instinct keeps getting stronger and stronger, your dad has patiently been working through the endless honey-do lists I make for him. Just when he gets through with one, I've added more things to another. He's adamant that you are able to recognize his voice after you are born, so every night he's been picking out a book or two to read out loud. Lately, it's been all about Dr. Seuss. It's just the two of us in the room but there he is doing all the animal sounds and funny character voices. I'm unbelievably grateful that I have the chance to see this "daddy mode," a side of him I never expected. Everyone says it just keeps getting better. Little girls need great daddies, and while I'm obviously partial to him already, I think  you've got the very best.

Even with 5 weeks (+/-) left to go, there is still plenty that we need to do in preparation for your arrival. We have lots of fun to look forward to as well with upcoming baby showers and hopefully a pedicure or two for mom. The other night we attended the Salt Lake Temple with Grandpa and all of your Duncan aunts and uncles. You were highly active during the whole session - even getting hiccups toward the end - before you must have exhausted yourself completely and dozed off. I kept having the feeling again and again that you are, and will continue to be, the greatest joy of my whole life.

Love,
Momma

A Letter to Baby Bee: 26 weeks and growing

Dear Baby Bee,
Well, look at us now! When people ask me how far along I am in this pregnancy, I have to catch my breath before I broadcast the words six and a half months and pretend like it's no big deal. There is no question these days about whether I'm expecting: my rounding belly is clearly an indication that a little one is on the way. I've started to receive smiles and even an occasional wink from strangers at the grocery store who all seem to be saying "you go girl!" As I was standing in a waiting room lobby the other day, a very nice man piped up and asked me when I was due. In May, I beamed, rubbing one hand on my belly (because honestly what else are my hands supposed to do?). He congratulated me several times and talked wistfully of his own 5 kids, his baby now 12 years old. It goes by so fast, he said, and those years are hard but you'll find you won't trade them for anything. You know, I think he's right.

The added attention you bring sometimes makes me feel silly, sure, but all the same it's just one more indication that carrying a baby is a real honor. I feel genuinely supported about bringing you into the world from family, friends, co-workers, ward members, and even strangers no less. But none more-so than your sweet dad. In my opinion he's already won an Oscar for Best Actor in a Supporting Role. I'm prematurely nominating him for Father of the Year. You'll see.

But while we're on the topic, you and him had a special moment the other morning as he was laying his face on my belly and you seemed to be responding on queue. He would say, can you have a good day Little Bee? and you would kick! Then he would say, take care of your momma for me, and you would kick!! Then he would laugh and say, don't kick me in the face! only to get a huge round-house kick to the face :). Your timing was perfect and you filled his day with joy.

Believe it or not, we are gearing up for a big trip to Australia in just a few days, which seems to have taken precedence over painting your nursery. But don't worry, that will get done soon enough. And if your dad doesn't do it, your Aunt Jen surely will. We figure this will be the last stamp in our passports for a good long while. I'm very much looking forward to meeting long-time colleagues in the Brisbane office, but I'm more so looking forward to spending time away with your father. After this trip, our next family vacation will be with you. And it might be as exciting as driving 40 miles south to visit grandma and grandpa. But still, we will be a family of three before long. And that alone is going to be the adventure of a lifetime we've been waiting for.

Also this week, your momma is turning 30! I must say that the very best thing, by far, about turning 30 is knowing that you'll come into my life this very same year. Thirty all of a sudden doesn't seem so old and scary. I'll be experiencing many "firsts" this year, which will reset the needle for basically everything I know about life. Thirty is now this magical number that I'll always associate with this beautiful time of life when I became your mother. Which is exactly what I've always meant to be.

Love,
Momma

A Letter to Baby Bee: 22 Weeks and counting

Dear Baby Bee,
Sometimes we call you that, Baby Bee, among plenty of other ridiculous and equally embarrassing cutesy names too. No matter what we name you, I think you'll always be our Baby Bee. The first in our hive. Newsflash to mom and dad: you're hardly a little bee anymore. At 22 weeks all the pregnancy books say you weigh nearly one whole pound. Hard to imagine you were ever that microscopic blastocyst introduced to us in the fertility lab. You are now a constant part of my every day, we are officially a party of two, where everything about me has suddenly become about we.

I love feeling your every move. There is really nothing like it in the world. Just this morning in the parking garage I couldn't quite bring myself to go inside and run the risk of interrupting the boxing match you had begun. Each little kick and somersault you make quietly reassures me that you are there and reminds me that life for both of us is ever changing. I find my hands are more and more comfortable resting on my belly, sometimes I don't even realize I'm rubbing it. Or I'll catch myself swaying side to side if I happen to be thinking about you. I've always wondered why pregnant woman do silly things like that. Now I know.

Your father has started to feel you move too, which is all very exciting. I wish you could see the way his eyes light up when he feels you kicking. The first thing he wants to do when he gets home is peel through the layers of my clothes so he can see you up close. For some unknown reason he finds the full panel maternity pants to be uproariously hilarious. This coming from someone who wears full body spandex. "I need to see my baby girl," he'll request and then press a whiskered cheek to my stomach. He continues to be fascinated by all these sudden changes to my body, especially my protruding belly, which every day seems to poke out a little bit further. No doubt, a good sign you are making yourself right at home in there. And just because he knows it'll warrant an overreaction from me, he loves to stick a wiggling finger right into my belly button claiming that's how he is able to be closest to you. I roll my eyes of course, but in truth I couldn't be happier that he is infatuated with you. With us. I certainly can't argue with his intentions.

Often at night when we are winding down in bed and talking about our days, I turn on a Mozart playlist on my iPhone and let it rest on top of my baby bump. We pretend to think this is going to make you a brilliant genius. In fact, we have countless hopes and dreams for you. But I won't tell you what they are. You will have hopes and dreams all your own, and those are the ones you should follow. Although, I know it wouldn't hurt your dad's feelings if you happen to love a good road trip. I certainly wouldn't mind if you developed a penchant for taking long Sunday naps snuggled with me.

In so many ways this pregnancy is moving all too quickly. I often wonder if I am enjoying it enough, or appreciating this moment knowing that the three of us will never have it again. Everything about pregnancy continues to mystify me, even I catch glimpses of my belly in the mirror and think, who is this pregnant woman? One thing I do know through all the blood, sweat, and tears: it's been well worth the fight. Happy to have you on board here my little one, our precious Baby Bee.

Love,
Momma

"A Pink Baby"

Surprise: It's a girl!

My niece Ellie predicted that we were having "a pink baby" and sure enough, she was right! Last week Baby Duncan was upgraded to Baby GIRL Duncan via ultrasound. BD and I were shocked. "I can't believe it's a girl!" I kept saying over and over. We had thoroughly been anticipating a boy due to a tip in that direction from an earlier ultrasound. But it appears she is all girl. I honestly can't get over it. "A pink baby!"

First purchase: pink tiny Tom's from Babinski's

I was completely giddy that day and haven't been able to think of anything other than pink for days on end. Suddenly this little flutterbug has taken on a giant piece of her identity, given us one more clue into her premature world. So what does dad think? Well, I'm pretty sure BD's heart grew three times that day :). I'm just passing 20 weeks, the halfway point, so they say. And while I can't wait to meet her face to face, I'm surprised at how fast this is all happening. Slow down baby girl, I want to say, I've only just begun to feel you move.

My love for this baby girl knows no bounds.

PS - the picture above is of me, 2 maybe 3 years old I'm guessing? I just noticed that I'm not wearing a stitch of pink! Ha. Such a tomboy I was. I suppose that can easily happen when you are the youngest of six and your next sibling up was a boy. 

What's in a Year?

On January 1, 2011 we arrived back home after spending two beautiful weeks in Brazil. The following 364 days have been some of the most exciting, devastating, and yet blessed days of my whole life. This entire year has been focused around nothing other than getting pregnant. Let's recap shall we? This is my cliff notes version of how I got pregnant. But for the record, I could write a novel.

On January 2nd we started our first round of IVF with daily injections. Ouch! I must really want to get pregnant. We blogged about Brazil. I traveled for work and by some miracle was able to give myself 6 shots. I really wanted a medal for that. Three weeks later we had to cancel that cycle because my body did not respond to the hormone treatment. I cursed my stupid body. I was released from Young Womens and called to teach Relief Society. I cried some.
In February I tried to relax, focus on early morning piano lessons, and just be present in what was happening in the world around me. I was desperately trying to catch myself from slipping further into depression. I turned 29 and tried not to think about it. BD surprised me with a new oven! I dove headstrong into work. Harder. Faster. Longer. BD was a trooper.
In March I baked up a storm. It was therapeutic. March was also all about second chances and we tried our hand at another round of IVF. BD had to travel for work and I volunteered my neighbor friend (bless her!) to give me daily injections. Different protocol. I went batsh*t crazy from the hormones. Don't pretend you didn't notice. On the last day of the month we had two surviving embryos implanted. We were 100% certain this was going to work.

In April Tom and Todd stayed with us and pampered me on my sick days. The pregnancy did not take. We were devastated. Everyone was devastated. I cursed my stupid body, again. BD biked a lot. I cried a lot. We got sucked into the Royal Wedding, if only for something to take our minds away. We heavily grieved the loss of an expectation. It was not the funnest month, per say.
In May BD whisked me away to Deer Valley over Mother's Day weekend for some R&R. I started tennis lessons with friends. BD traveled lots for work. We saw Les Miserables. We focused on each other and did things that made us happy. I walked every morning with friends and it felt good. My body was slowly returning to normal. My emotional state was beginning to heal.

In June we went to San Diego and drove Bruce home. BD loves Bruce. It was a treat to sit by the ocean and hear the waves crash. BD went to Youth Conference and rafted the Bear River. Not quite ready to open ourselves up again to IVF just yet, we embraced Summerness in all it's glory.
In July we hosted a BBQ and it rained. BD ran the Bryce Canyon Half Marathon with his siblings and rocked it. We spent a weekend in Park City with friends and loved on their baby girl. It opened our hearts to think about IVF again. I started being aware of all the things that truly make me happy. It always helps to count your blessings.
In August BD went on the Scout 50 Miler and I prayed they wouldn't get struck by lightning. I started an acupuncture regimen for fertility. BD glued himself to everything Tour of Utah. Big sister got married, I made a wedding cake! We started round 3 of IVF. More hormones. More injections. More crazy. More mula. More hope, though.

On Labor Day, September 5th, we had another two embryos implanted. We were hopeful, of course, but more so certain that we were doing the right thing whatever the outcome would be. It is surreal to see your potential children through a microscope. You can't imagine how much love you feel for something you can barely see with a naked eye. On September 17th we received a call from the clinic confirming that I was pregnant. We couldn't believe it. In fact, I challenged the nurse on this fact and she had to reassure me several times that I really was pregnant. The numbers don't lie! In an instant our whole paradigm changed. 
In October BD turned 30, we had visitors from Germany, watched Ellie for a weekend, enjoyed campfires up the canyon, and celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. But mostly we did nothing but think about, talk about, and revel in the newness of this pregnancy. BD became very protective of his new little family. I was tired and nauseous and doing my best to finish a full day of work. But we were oh so happy.
In November I spent a weekend at Sundance with girlfriends. We passed the 13 week mark and our Dr. gave us a thumbs up, the baby is strong, the pregnancy viable. I thank God everyday for my beautiful body and it's ability to sustain this little life. I love to check every pregnancy symptom off my list with pride. I want to feel it all. I don't take any of it for granted. We celebrated Thanksgiving with my family. We are indeed thankful for a miracle.

In December my belly started to pop out and I embrace my new curvier curves. BD is obsessed and wants to be touching my stomach at all times and in all places. I'm learning to embrace that, too. News of the baby is reaching far and wide, which is fun. We're happy to be spreading good cheer. It's only starting to become real. I began to feel the baby kicking and poking around inside. I love this feeling more than anything in the world. On December 30th at 19.5 weeks we found out the gender of Baby Duncan. We are thoroughly shocked, but elated just the same. Not that we wouldn't have been either way...

And that pretty much sums up our year. Two-thousand Eleven. The year of the pregnancy.