Saturday, October 11, 2008

Boys Are Mean: A True Story

Once upon a time, in a far away land called "Lake Pal" four beautiful women were peacefully floating on the lake, getting some sun, and chatting it up like only women of this elite kind know how to do.Hey! Can someone take our picture? Smile girls, this one's for the blog!
In the meantime, while the ladies are distracted with the picture taking, a BOY enters the scene on a wave runner. Seems harmless enough. It's a beautiful day, the sun is high in the sky. A perfect time to embark on a personal journey on the lake to perhaps gain some perspective on how wonderful life can be when you're on vacation with dear friends in such a pristine environment.
It was not to be so. The BOY could not resist the great temptation to spoil a seemingly blissful moment of zen for the beautiful ladies. Unknowingly the women continue with their intellectual conversation philosophizing about the mysteries of the universe until...Disaster struck. With seconds to spare, The Sisters in Zion tried to warn one another. But it was too late. An ambush of catastrophic proportions was already underway.
Hundreds of pounds of water violently sprayed on top of them. Even over the roar of the water you could hear evil cackling coming from the BOY on his man toy. As the wave runner fled the scene the ladies were tossed about in the waves like plastic rafts in a mighty tempest. With all their might, mind, and strength they fought to keep from capsizing. Of course, only a BOY could be at the heart of this sort of calamitous siege. So, with tousled hair in their eyes and lake water dripping out their noses, the ladies let him have it. Expletives went flying. The women banded together, he will pay for this, they vowed. HE WILL PAY. But alas he would not pay. The BOY was not yet through inflicting pain and misery on the innocent victims who were merely attempting to enjoy their afternoon float. Picking up on their sarcastic sass and empty threats, the BOY still found it necessary to prove he was in charge. In a matter of seconds the BOY was back and even more full of hysteria. The first counteroffensive had only been the appetizer to his feast. This tyrant would not surrender until his woeful appetite was satisfied in full. He strikes again. For a second time the ladies are jostled amongst the waves and struggle for breath beneath the torrential downpour. Their lives flash before their eyes once again. After some time they recover from the most recent destruction, but it was too late for the one who got away. All of a sudden a second cohort enters the deplorable one-sided combat. Another BOY, we can only assume.
Hey Jeff! You missed one! Look...she's getting away!
BOY #2 bellowed from the balcony above, betraying his one true love for the manifested bonds of brotherhood.
BOY #1 responds with another rueful cackle that could be heard all through the canyon lands. Not about to been seen as a compassionate ruler, BOY #1 revs his engine in pursuit of the one who would get away. It doesn't take long for him to spot the helpless victim trying to escape. BOY #1 eyes the target in his cross hair. Lock and load. {Sigh} What can a girl do? Boys will never change.
The end.


Two Wheeler said...

For the record... I was not BOY #2.

What a fun trip! Em, your pics captured the action perfectly!

We're still working on that CD full of pictures for everyone. We should have it in the next day or two. We've both been out of town and haven't had time to get to all of them yet. I'm sure it didn't help that I took ~800 shots, haha.

special k said...

So funny that the play by play is all caught on camera and I love your storytelling!
Boys will ALWAYS be boys...but I'm glad to hear that BD was not boy#1 or boy#2.

(and...don't tempt me with the sick day! :) Doesn't that sound great? I wish we could ALL have a lazy "sick" day today! *sigh)

Rachel said...

G, that was great!!! And for the record, I KNOW who boy #2 was.....his name starts with a B and ends with rad!!! To bad I couldn't paddle fast enough to really get away!

Two Wheeler said...

Haha, why does everyone think that it was me? I have an alibi, I was playing Spades during the whole escapade... Em can vouch for me, she took the pics.

Emily said...

It's a good thing I was the camera lady for this fun little event you've posted. It was pretty funny! Lake Powel is always a GOOD time. Thanks Wildings!!

Natlee Lloyd said...

That was definately a tidal wave!

Wildings said...

Such a good story and even better memories! My husband will definitely always be that BOY, sorry for those that will suffer, he just can't help it!

gina bina said...

Stace...that's why we love him!

Ashley said...

OH lol!!!! So funny. Love the commentary and pictures to go with it :) Love it, love it, love it

Justin & Mandy said...

Gina, I know that we don't really know each other, but "The Boy" showed me your blog and I couldn't help but respond! Never in my life have a read such a perfectly phrased story of my dear, sweet, brother in law. So sorry, by the way! But I guess the difference between you and me and our interaction with Jeff is that you chose it, I married into it. I'm not sure which is worse!! I guess, in reality, you chose Stacey and he is just one of those nasty side effects! Thanks for sharing your talent with words! I peed my pants...which isn't hard to do after just having a baby, but none the less it was a telling tale that made my cheeks hurt! LOOOVED IT!