I am a mom. I tell myself this everyday, lest I forget all the days before when I wasn't a mom. I haven't forgotten that longing. It pains me to know that so many others are still in that boat, bobbing up and down at sea and watching all the other mommy boats float past. I was stuck in those waters for many years wondering if I would sink or swim.And people would say,
"I'll sell you my two-year old!"
"Enjoy your sleep while you can!"
"At least you can travel!"
People will say silly things in order to feel better about your situation. But what they are not telling you is that they would never, not in a million years even if it was legal, sell you their two-year old. They know that no amount of sleeping on your stomach in between soft white pima cotton sheets would ever make up for seeing your baby shoot you a big milky smile at 4 o'clock in the morning. No adventure to the farthest antipodes in search of the world's best gelato could replace the love you will have for your own child.
Now that I'm in the mommy boat.
There is a reason you want this.
I remember thinking, Why is this so hard? Why do I need this so much? Why does it hurt so bad? I will tell you, there is a reason your heart is pricked every month you are not pregnant. There is a reason your uterus skips a beat when you drive past a park with an empty swing. And there is a reason it may feel like something, someone, is missing from your nest. And when the doctor/midwife/husband/birth-mother hands you that baby for the first time you will absolutely believe in miracles. You will feel bigger than the universe in that moment. The heart-break will begin to fade as pure love fills your soul and you will want to burst from the inside out. You will be proud of yourself for not giving up on this dream. You fought for her. For him. For them. No one can ever take that from you. It is MAGIC.
That is the reason you've wanted this so very very much.
Don't give up. It is that good.
|via Kill Bill v. II|
P.S. I've got a gassy 2 month old infant for sale if anyone is interested... ;).