A letter to Baby Bee: My Big Girl at 9 months

Dear Baby Bee,
We have started this little game now where I ask, where is mommy's baby? I pat my big round tummy. Then you pat my big round tummy. I ask, where is mommy's big girl? And I point to you. Because you are now a big baby and will be a big sister in just over 3 months. I can hardly believe this is happening to us, Bee, it is so bittersweet that it takes my breath far far away.

You are now my big baby who is doing all kinds of big baby things. You are eating food with your fingers and from a spoon and from the floor when I can't get there in time. You love watching me dance around the kitchen while I cut bananas and make your oatmeal. Our mornings are really fun together. By now you are an expert at crawling super fast and breathe heavily through your nose when you're on the move. We've nicknamed you "bulldog" because we can always tell when you are coming, arms pinned out to the sides, tongue out. You can stand and walk along furniture like a pro and will walk forever holding onto our hands.

You are beginning to really love and comprehend books and will anticipate certain pages of your favorite stories, leaning in to give slobbery kisses to the babies and animals. You are the sweetest little thing. I am lucky to spend my days with you, being the number one recipient of lots of pats and cuddles and kisses. When you wake up from a nap I stand outside your door and knock so you know I'm coming in. I am always greeted with a big gummy smile and I feel a little like a rock star. This is all the fame I will ever need in the world. I swoop you in my arms and you crash your head onto my shoulder and pat my back gently. In those moments I want to drink you up, every ounce of your pure baby sweetness.

You have outgrown taking baths in the kitchen sink and are getting quite comfortable splashing around in the big tub. You will grab at the mysterious bubbles and watch them disappear in your hands. Sometimes I can't resist climbing in there with you. Sharing a bath with you is usually the very best part of my day. You have bath toys of course, but the red Solo cup is by far the most preferred guest. I pour warm water down your back and daddy pours warm water down mine. We cherish these little intimate moments created as a family. The three of us are happiest when we are all together.

You love to be out and about, taking in the world perched in a shopping cart. However, at nine months, you have a strong preference for me or your dad, but not really anyone else. You tend to get very nervous when others hold you. I know you will outgrow it, and someday will not think twice about being away from me. Of course I don't mind for a second being your favored company. I waited a long time to be someone's momma. I'm so lucky to be yours, Bee.

You are absolutely the light of your dad's life. And the feeling is quite mutual! He hopes that you wake up early enough in the morning so he can see you before work. In the evenings you now recognize the sound of him coming through the door and rush to his feet for a hug and kiss. The two of you will wrestle gently on the living room floor for hours. You climb up and over every angle of him, smiling and giggling the whole way. For a momma, there is nothing like this feeling in the world.
We've started the weaning process, you and I, and OH my baby girl. This has been much harder on me than I ever expected. Part of me never wants to give this up. Nursing you has been one of the greatest joys of my entire life. These days we are down to just two feedings per day and I feel the end is drawing near for this special time between us. Pretty much everything about breast-feeding has surprised me, including how much I have absolutely loved it. I've wept for hours at just the thought of stopping. It becomes especially difficult because my time alone with you is growing short. And while I will never love you any less, I know having a little brother in our lives will change everything.

We have 3 more months baby girl, lets make the most of it.  
Love,
Momma