From the Archives

The four pictures I chose for this months header may seem random, but really they represent four very unique things: my favorite pictures of all time. Well, at least for today.

First, this picture:OHS Sweethearts=funnest high school dance memory. Besides the fact that we look 12 years old, he and I are actually 18 and 17, respectively. Naturally, as seniors in high school we had the world by the tail. This date dance was in February of 2000, the same year we fell in love, broke up, graduated, fell back in love, mission call, started college, and on and on. But you could have guessed the year even if I hadn't told you because of 1) my zig-zag hair part, and 2) his Abercrombie graphic tee. Both dead give-aways of our high school days. What you can't see are my Silver Jeans and chunky boots from Bakers (anyone?). This picture embodies everything I loved about being that age, that innocent, and that ambitious.

Second, this picture:It's me, when little, rockin' a skateboard and sporting a Harley Davidson tee. Mom used to pull my hair back with two yellow butterfly barrettes so that I wouldn't look like a rag-a-muffin. It was a constant battle she would never win between her youngest daughter not complying with the frilly dresses and violin playing she had envisioned. Those barrettes were perhaps the only girly thing I would allow anywhere near my being for the next decade. You'll also notice that I'm holding the skateboard, not riding it. This is key. What you don't see is my older brother daringly flying his skateboard off a homemade ramp head first onto the cement driveway. And I'm just standing there holding my skateboard as if to say go ahead idiot brother, crack your head open, I'll just be a bad-ass from safely over here. It's so me.

Then there is this picture:Taken recently in October, there is nothing specifically dramatic or compelling about this photo other than it marks a really good day. One of those days I'll never forget for no reason other than it was a Sunday afternoon, beautiful fall weather, I'd just woken up from a nap, we went for a walk in the park, collected leaves, and snapped a picture. Amid months and months of seemingly complicated bad days, the simplicity of a single good day seems to stand out. I love those days and I particularly loved that day.

And lastly, there is this gem:My little cowboy man in his plaid shirt, jean vest, boots and buckle. But the thing that really gets me about this picture is the buckle: it says "Brad" on it. I'm in love with it, I don't know why. The buckle's whereabouts are unknown, but his mom never threw away anything remotely sentimental so it must exist. My life will not be complete until we find it. I can hardly look at this photo without grinning. Not only because of my buckle fixation, but because of his little boy hair, little boy face, and little boy smile. All of it, including the rattan chair, just melts my heart completely. Plus he is properly sitting upright like such a good little boy. But I'm no fool.

Thinking Outloud

When I came back from lunch today the last bloom on my purple orchid had fallen. This beautiful botanical has kept watch over my office for nearly 9 months. I've seen each blossom bud and grow and then one by one they have silently fallen. I've been giving myself the whole circle of life pep-talk on repeat. But this is probably the only plant that I haven't killed yet. And now it's gone ahead and died anyway.As I pulled into my garage tonight and passed the communal dumpster I noticed someone had discarded a little wooden chair. It called to me. Instantly I imagined it in a bright new color and topped with a pair of little tippy-toed feet reaching to help me crack an egg. So I picked it up and brought it home. And suddenly I'm feeling a lot better about the circle of life.

freshly

Wow. This month has flown by. I have a lot of catching up that probably won't happen. This will have to do.

Practicing Yoga here and there and hosted a mini yoga "retreat" at my house this past week. I'm starting to feel the benefits inside and out. Loving our brand new niece Ellie. We think she's pretty sweet, as in awesome. Clucky much?
Chewing on these sweet and spicy Ginger Chews. If you like ginger-the real stuff-you will love these soft candies. Just get past the creepy fat reclining ginger cartoon man on the package. Seriously people?
Listening to Keane. At any given moment over the past few months I've had any number of Keane songs playing over and over in my head. It's been some time since I have connected with a band in such a way.Reading The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson. Dark, eerie, and riddled with history...I'm loving it! Just in time for Halloween too.Obsessing over pumpkins. Big ones. Little ones. I've been stockpiling them at home and at the office. I'll never get over how blissfully happy they make me.Sneaking in one more of Ellie, because she is just that yummy. Hope you all had a wonderfully spooky Halloween! I spent mine cuddling a baby giraffe. Which perhaps isn't so scary after all.

Looking Back, Looking Forward

Surreal
Remembering the cool misty October morning when we wed
Life seemed so simple
Yet so complete in the basement of that little white house
Where being together was the only thing that mattered
And we were right where we needed to be
Real
Six short years later
Life is a bit more complicated and a little less simple
Plenty of ups and downs and highs and lows
Yet being together is still the only thing that matters
And we are right where we need to beXOXO

This life is only a test

I love you, October for two very delicious reasons. And no, surprisingly I'm not referring to the two cases of canned pumpkin puree in my pantry just waiting to be slopped into muffins, cookies, bread, and pie. This month BD will turn yet another handsome year older and together we will celebrate our wedding anniversary. These are my two most favorite days all year, days I look forward to with much excitement. Because October is my favorite month of the year, it becomes 31 days of celebrating anything and everything.
The other morning as BD kissed me goodbye at 6:18 am, pulling me out of my sleepy fog, he yelled softly "It's Wednesday! I can finally see you tonight." He was right. It was already Wednesday, as in mid-week, and I could count on one hand the number of minutes I'd spent talking to him since Sunday. Of course we are no exception, everyone is busy these days. And I'm not complaining either. I am however growing more and more comfortable with this stage in life. I'm doing my best to take life in with big deep breaths, surrender the control, and make the most of each unpredictable day. Dare I say, I'm happy. Exhale.
Now that I've said that out loud on the internet I should expect all manner of heartache and pestilence to boil up in my morning tea. But until then I will love every day of October because it's cooler outside and I can wear boots, it's Conference time and church in pajamas is something I fully support, there will be birthday cake accompanied by my bad singing, my bestie is coming to town and I have about 401 things to catch her up on, soon a new baby will be born which we are anxious to welcome and shower with gifts, I'm attempting my first entrance into the annual ward chili cook-off, not to mention celebrating 6 years of marital bliss, or the lack thereof depending on the day, hosting a brood of witches for Bunko, of course Halloween rounds out the month with some good old-fashioned fright, and did I mention that it's cooler outside and I can wear scarves?
I love you, October.

Yellowstone-Quick Pass

The day after the race we took the long way home, through the Teton and Yellowstone National Parks. Probably two of my most favorite places on earth. The beauty in this part of the country is unsurpassed. My sister and kids came up to Jackson, barely missing BD at the finish line of the race. We caravaned through the Parks stopping here and there to spy on animals or snap a quick photo. On the way home it was put to a vote and decided: BD and I could live there.

Let them eat cake

I still need to post about the other half of our weekend in Wyoming. However, it's too tempting not to post these first. I received a few images from the wedding today from my uber talented best friend Jessie O'Neal, who BTW did a KNOCKOUT job with the wedding photography. As always. Does she ever take a bad picture? She. blows. my. mind. I just wish I had more excuses to hire her.I'm terrifically pleased with how everything came together in the end. And I'm trying really extra hard to keep my criticisms to myself. Because you know they're there. The dessert table looked fabulous and (fingers crossed) tasted great too. Michelle did a top notch job on making the puff balls, but hanging them proved to be the real challenge. I certainly can't take all the credit; my sister Brook was the mastermind behind everything and was up with me until 4:00 am dipping cake pops AND was there late the next night taking everything down. She is nothing short of amazing. I should also thank BD, my mom and Marci for their generous help. Then there's the gracious hosts Michelle and Brett who so kindly allowed the bride and groom to use their gorgeous backyard. They were so helpful in the set up and take down and even in between. And I can't forget Judy's dear friends from the ward who were there helping with the food and were making us all laugh in the kitchen. Angels.Michelle worked her little hiney off to pull the wedding together in such a short time. She did an amazing job and should be proud of all her hard work.
Have a SWEET weekend! Do me a favor and eat something dipped in rich creamy chocolate. I know I will. Also, check out Jessie's newly revamped blog and website. And more from the wedding here.

LOTOJA 2009

Please excuse me, but I'm about to have a proud wifey moment right here on this blog. Big time. BD raced in the 27th LOTOJA Classic on Saturday. Decidedly, he loved all 206 miles. When I passed him on the last uphill towards Jackson at roughly mile 175 he was still smiling and I felt a rush of pride drench the whole front seat of my car. It felt good to see him enjoying the race entirely despite how painful all those mountainous miles sounded. He's been training and planning for this event practically all year. It's ALL he has talked about for months and months. The few days leading up to the event he was a nervous and excited wreck. So was I. He was a first-time rider and I was a first-time support crew so neither of us knew what to expect. Other than sending him off at the start line without water bottles {oops} I did a pretty descent job of keeping him fed and hydrated along the way. And I'm only trying to give myself an ounce of credit here because the feed stations were stressful! I would arrive early and plant myself at station 9 {as instructed} and wait and wait. After about 6 false alarms of other riders flying by in red/white jerseys, finally BD would come pedaling up frantically searching all the faces until he found mine. Now both of our adrenaline was pumping. In less than 7 seconds he would throw out all his empty bottles and garbage while I shoved more food, water, and Gatorade into his pockets. A sweaty kiss {if lucky}, a slap on the rear and a Way to GO babe! You look HOT in spandex! Keep up the pace! and he was off in a flash. A quick wipe of my brow and and I was rushing off to the next feed station with a long line of support vehicles. It was actually nice to have all that alone time in the car, driving through the remote farm lands of Utah, Idaho, and Wyoming. Small towns make me feel nostalgic and I always picture myself living there. I'm sure people in the country have the same old problems that people have in the city, but on a quiet Saturday morning when the early sun is kissing the fields just that way...it sure doesn't seem like it. I was almost certain that I could have knocked on any door only to be offered fresh huckleberry pancakes served over a red gingham table cloth. There was lots of beautiful scenery along the way. Lush farm lands, winding rivers, green hills, rocky mountains. The weather was cooperative and absolutely gorgeous; all 206 miles were sun-shiny and pleasantly warm. I was just grateful to be a part of it.Dan and Ali were there at the finish line anxiously waiting for him to sprint through. We missed the others who would have come; Lee, who is battling a wicked kidney stone, and Michelle and Ben who were nursing him better back home. BD felt their support along with many others throughout the day with lots of good luck text messages and phone calls. I have to give a BIG thanks to my aunt Polly and JoAnn who not only fed us, but let us sleep at their house in Logan the night before.We hooted and hollered like wild hyenas when BD came sprinting over the finish line at 4:20 pm with a super fast time of 9:37:49. I am so proud of him for accomplishing this goal. Covered in at least 1/4 inch of salt-sweat and grime, he was exhausted to his very core, but in true form...still smiling. Perhaps beaming wider and brighter than I have ever seen before.

one o one

1. My idea of a "cat nap" is at least 3 hours long.
2. If I drink even the smallest amount of caffeine I'm up all night.
3. I lift one leg up while applying mascara.
   
4. I have vowed to give up most of my favorite TV shows.
5. Come fall line-up I'll probably most definitely regret this decision.
6. There is way too much filth on TV and I've become desensitized by it.
7. I get the Sunday night blues. Every. Sunday. Night.
   
8. When I'm scared, nervous, or anxious I pull out my eyebrows and eyelashes.
9. I only like green bananas.
10. Mark Rothko is my favorite American Artist.
11. I tweaked my back a couple weeks ago and the pain is slowly getting worse.
12. But I'm too scared to call the Dr. {insert Lindsey and Gob's chicken dance}
13. If Arrested Development was still on TV, I would not ever give it up.
14. My hubby shaves his legs and I love it. A lot.
15. Sometimes I'm jealous that he has sexier legs {by far} than I.
16. Then I remember that he rides his bike everywhere and I shut up.
17. I don't really want to plan our 10 year High School reunion.
    
18. I have a secret life.
19. I strongly dislike crude humor in movies.
20. The surrounding mountains give me a false sense of security.
21. I never thought a house this amazing existed in Salt Lake.
22. I just checked our bank account and we are exactly $699,000 short of owning it.
    
23. Sometimes not saying anything at all is the best possible thing.
24. Learning that the hard way is the worst possible thing.
25. I've unexpectedly made new friends this year.
26. My life has been blessed enormously because of them.
    
27. Still, perhaps nothing can replace my oldest friends.
    
28. Because they've seen me do stupid stuff and seen me naked and have possibly seen me do stupid stuff while naked.
29. They are my friends anyway, wherein lies the beauty of it all.
30. My relationship with Christ is without a doubt the most important thing in my life.
31. I do not appreciate Al Roker's humor.
32. I am totally jealous of someone who left last week to live in France.
33. Oh to be 20 again and want to travel the world just because I can.
34. I'm 27 and still want to travel the world.
35. I hope that sentiment never changes about me.
36. I only have room in my heart to love one pair of jeans at a time.
37. My new shoes are giving me the biggest baddest blisters and I don't care because they're beautiful.
38. I am discernibly terrified to become a mother.
39. If ever a mother, I predict I will be the biggest emotional disaster the world has ever seen.
    
40. Which is why I try not to think about it much.
41. I think about one or both of my grandmother's everyday.
    
42. I shave my fingers and toes.
43. As much as I try to hide it, I'm a true introvert.
44. Sometimes I cry for no palpable reason which becomes reason enough to keep crying.
45. I consciously have to force myself to drink enough water during the day.
    
46. I remember 9/11 like it was yesterday.
47. I channel Diana Ross whenever possible.
48. Hugging my pillow while sleeping brings me insurmountable joy.
49. After an experience I had this year, I will never discount the meaning of my dreams. Ever.
    
50. I have not eaten fast food since December 31st, 2008.
51. I don't miss it at all.
52. That's a lie. I miss Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich. And fries. But that's it.
    
53. It's a wonderful thing to be married to a hopeless romantic.
54. I do 90% of my clothes shopping at one store.
    
55. I am really proud of my family.
56. I freak out when I lose control of what's happening in my life.
57. I'm constantly forgetting which is my left and right, I mean my other left, or is it right?
58. First thing I do when I get home from work? Pants off!
59. I know a lot of secrets.
60. No, they are not about you.
61. I love trying new restaurants and would eat out everyday if I could.
62. I've been thinking a lot about law school.
63. Although I don't want to be a lawyer.
    
64. I miss learning in a secular environment.
65. I feel my brain is getting all soft and mushy.
    
66. I could watch Friends re-runs for hours and never get bored.
67. Which I guess is why my brain is all soft and mushy.
68. Admittedly, I am not a good housekeeper.
69. I keep a separate throw away journal where I write about things I intend to forget.
70. I love to cook for BD because everything I make is the best thing he's ever eaten.
71. Sometimes, eternity seems too damn long.
72. But if there are cheeseburgers involved, I might be into it.
73. Sometimes sad music is what makes me happy.
74. My food scale is my best friend.
75. I wish to write a children's book someday.
76. Today, Rome is my favorite place on the earth.
77. I once saw a women being raped and couldn't do anything about it.
78. Neither could she.
    
79. I get anxiety from driving a stick shift and will do everything in my power to avoid hills.
80. I don't get my feelings hurt that often.
81. But when I do, I don't get over hurt feelings very fast.
    
82. There are no words for how much I loathe people who litter cigarette butts.
83. I plan on dying before my husband.
84. He will be in big big trouble if he doesn't stick to the plan.
85. My feet are sooo ticklish that even a pedicure can turn into awkward feet flirting.
86. I think Alan Jackson is one sexy cowboy.
87. My favorite scripture is Ether 12:27.
88. I have a dream to buy a T@B RV and drive around North America with just BD.
89. My handwriting is an unpredictable mixture of random capital and lowercase letters.
90. I am more grateful for my job than almost anything else.
    
91. I really enjoy serving with the Young Women, they fill and refill a huge void in my life.
92. I live for Friday nights and Saturday mornings.
93. I kill plants. It's just a fact of life.
94. When I sit down in a movie theater, I have the uncontrollable urge to buckle my safety belt.
95. I hate theme parks.
    
96. And carnival food.
97. But I love museums.
98. And sushi.
99. Try not to hold that against me.
    
100. Whatever it is, I validate you, whoever you are.
101. BD and I are out the door this afternoon to LOTOJA 2009. Wish him luck!

For the love of art

One of my best friends is married to this guy, this rugged outdoorsy activist kind of guy. He's also an incredible painter. And I can't stress the incredible part enough. I've been a long time admirer of Chris Peterson's work. I gawk at it each time I'm in their home because it's all over their walls like a fine art gallery. I even managed to swindle him into letting my office borrow a painting for our waiting area. So there's that, which leads me to this. For several years, I've been asking Chris to paint an abstract cityscape of Salt Lake City. And for several years he would not.

Being the conservationist that he is, Chris typically paints landscapes and symbols of the Great American West; the guy has literally been to every nook and cranny of the Great American West. Granted, I was asking for something a little bit out of his comfort zone; concrete and steel. However, I knew Chris was the only one that could give me what I wanted. He was the only one who could paint how I feel about this beautiful place where I live: my Beehive city cradled perfectly beneath the ever present Wasatch Mountains.

So I persisted. Every once in a while Chris would entertain the idea and get me all worked up like a kitten who has just spotted milk. And then? Nothing. But he's an artist, and you know these romantic artsy types, they are fickle and emotional and they get very attached to their work to the point they feel it has somehow become part of their actual being. I majored in studying people like him. Essentially, I was asking Chris to slice off his ring finger and give it to me so I could mount it on my wall. I was all, dude, you have 9 others and I will pay you for it. Still, nothing. But finally FINALLY one day this summer he casually mentioned that he had started my painting.

I died.

Then I quickly came back from death {I know!} and have been on pins and needles ever since. At a summer BBQ he made the mistake of showing me a camera phone pic of a half-way completed version.

I died again.

It was perfect even incomplete. I would have taken it home right then and there. But no, I had to be patient and wait for the artist to work it over, and re-work it until it had reached that acceptable state of amputation. Every once in a while I would hit BD square in the chest and ask "Do you think he's working on it right now? Do ya?" He was. We've been anxiously waiting for the painting to be complete and on Sunday...we got the call. The final product? It speaks for itself:I mean, come on. Have you ever seen anything so divine? Words nearly escape me when I try to describe how this painting makes me feel inside. On the outside, screaming and jumping and hugging and crying and Chris' red embarrassed face barely nick the surface. The best part is that it's painted on a door. And yes, that's a racquetball moon. I told you it was awesome. I'm beyond pleased with it. Thank you, Chris.Chris will be showing this painting, along with his other recent works, at Poor Yorick's Fall Open Studio on September 25-26. Come check him out!Oh, and how is Chris' finger you might ask? I've had to gently remind him that things worked out pretty darn good for van Gogh in the end.

Hitched

Husband's little sis said I do yesterday; it was simple and lovely and I cried. Which is what I do best at weddings. Watching him watching her, it was surreal for BD to see his baby sister all grown up, a beautiful blushing bride, anxious to start life and family with her one and only. On the way home my one and only held my hand and said sweet things and I remembered our day once upon a time. It makes me weepy. Not just the memory of that day, but rather of all the best we've had between that day and today. With love, we wish Ben and Michelle all the best in their uncharted road ahead because all the best is there to be had.