It's a TEN

A blog worthy milestone: The Bradlee Duncan's celebrated 10 years of marriage this month. Here's the thing about marriage (mawage...). You can never predict what problems you will face as newly wedded and blissed out on love. And the problems you do inevitably face as a couple, as a family, and as a deeply flawed human being, are never what you think they will be. At our ten year mark I'm not going to write that I'm grateful for the challenges we have faced, even though I might admit that sentiment in an honest conversation with a friend. That particular colloquialism has the tendency to sound trite. Because those challenges are real, are hard, it hurts, and we are equally human. I will say that marriage continues to be a refining process for both of us and if there is one thing I know for certain, it is we are yoked in this partnership equally together. I'm often amazed at where his strengths pick up where I'm lacking and vice versa. Ultimately I'm grateful for his easy temperament and passion for life. He's thoughtful and the true romantic in our relationship. He's my confidant and sounding board. My #1 fan. He sticks his long bony cold freezing feet on me. every. single. night. But you know what? He's still the one.

With two young babies and newly house poor it wasn't in the cards for extravagant gift giving or vacationing this year. Brad took the day off of work which was absolute heaven for me. We had lunch at our favorite little cafe in the avenues just like we did after our temple ceremony and just like we do every year on our anniversary. We hiked Ensign Peak. We had take-out pizza for dinner. We played with our kids with the purpose of really enjoying them. It was a right perfect day indeed.

Happy Anniversary my love. I love us.

Epicenter

Standing behind her high chair I twist the top square of Phoebe's medium blond hair through an elastic while she is momentarily distracted by licking peanut butter off apple slices. I have about 4 seconds to secure this elastic before it becomes a wrestling match. She is serenading our little threesome with a new song the world has never heard and may never hear again. I'm in love with her nonsensical babble. The southern sun is pouring through my kitchen windows warmly as it does everyday during lunchtime. Julian is perched in his hand-me-down pink bumbo seat on our kitchen table watching intently and cooing at us while chewing on his bib, which is soaked clear through with his own spit up. In fact, a pool of spit up has begun flooding the table below his feet. It's disgusting, actually. He is so handsome. He catches me looking at him and jerks his hands excitedly up to his face squealing in delight. This is it. The epicenter of my day. The moment where my heart raps against my ribcage because the love I have for these two babies is so powerful, so genuine it takes me out for a brief second. It's the moment that makes the difficult hours preceding and the difficult hours ahead not only bearable but absolutely worth it.

Autumn Comes

Outside
Feels like autumn, damp and crisp
Rosy on my nose
Sunday walks with my kin in tow
Inside
Smells like autumn, pumpkin bread wisp
Socks covered on toes
A perfect eve tied with a bow

Juju's Blueprint: 4 months

Little brother is now 4 months old and is simply the happiest baby. There is nothing better than a baby's laugh and Julian has the most ridiculously cute laugh we've ever heard. He beams when you just look at him; it's as though he can't help but nearly burst. His whole body smiles with him! Knock on wood, but it seems like we are making some big improvements with sleeping right at 4 months. Which is a good thing, because yowzers this past month has been a leeeetle rough. Julian regressed back to waking 2-5 times each night with lots of trouble falling back to sleep. Rough nights for Julian translate to rough days for mom (and even dad!). Sleeping during the day can be non-existent as he prefers 20 minute power naps. Note: this does NOT work for mom. Juju has found his voice and has the loudest squeals. Once he gets going, there is no stopping him. He will squawk until his voice is horse. He is so close to rolling over, any day now he will flip that chubby little body right over. He loves to sit in the bumbo and watch Bee throw food around or mom busying about the kitchen. We've got sphincter problems, big time! Boy can't hold his liquor milk. This picture is a perfect representation. We changed into this onsie literally 1 minute before his photo shoot thinking that if we acted quick it would remain clean for the picture. We won't be that sad to have him grow out of this. The amount of laundry this kid generates alone is absurd for such a little guy. Juju loves to hold toys and almost can't believe his luck when he shoves it in his mouth. He is growing so fast, if only we didn't have to blink so we wouldn't miss it. Momma's back aches from rocking him. Daddy's arms are sore from swinging him. We are all tired. And yet, he is worth it all. I mean, look at that smile!

Late in the summer, late in the day

Sometimes a little walk outside can be the perfect end to a crazy day. A late-summer after dinner before bath time tradition of exploring our new neighborhood has saved the day more times than I can count. Bee perks up when we suggest an evening walk and runs to find her shoes. Julian loves to be outside and will calm right down the minute we walk out the door. It is amusing to watch Bee discovering her world and we collect treasures of leaves and sticks all along the way. Her very favorite thing to do is sit on top of the fire hydrants, perched like a little queen admiring her kingdom. Just a short walk to calm a fussy baby, to tire an energetic toddler, to refresh a tired mother, to bring a busy daddy home. Summer is fleeting and I will miss these days when they are gone.

Wild and free, forever she may be

You have these days as a mom, where you want to freeze time just so everything would be still that you might step back with a long breath to pause and simply marvel at the little people who own your heart. This was one of those days. She is one of those people.

Juju's Blueprint: 3 months

Our little buddy is 3 months old today. This kid. I tell you. He is a rascal. But boy oh boy does he have his momma's heart. Every time we *think* we have him figured out, he throws us a curve ball, and wham! Turns out we don't :). But even when not sleeping well and having a (super) short fuse, Julian is the happiest baby on earth. During his awake times (when he's supposed to be awake) he giggles and laughs with such conviction it causes us all to laugh right along with him. Juju is super ticklish on his neck and thighs. It is so fun to make him belly laugh, and daddy can get him going like no one else. Don't sweat the small stuff, he reminds us, and it's all small stuff. Julian loves to eat, and often! He is still super spitty (sphincter problems! we say every time we are doused with baby puke). He is enjoying tummy-time more and more, although it's a surefire way to empty his stomach and light his fuse. He has started to notice Bee and beams his brightest smile when he sees her zooming around his head. Until he gets bonked, and then he sounds the call for momma to rescue him. In one day I can be told that Julian looks exactly like his sister, or just like his dad, but definitely my son. I can agree with all of them, but I especially see a resemblance to my brother Tom through Julian's big beautiful eyes. At 3 months Juju has found his hands and loves to chew on them any chance he gets. He has found his voice as well and we can have long chats together about the weather, his older sister, and all the family secrets. Julian is a lover and a fighter. This kid has got spirit! He is intense and passionate and a momma's boy to boot. We love our Juju, to the moon and back.
Just for fun: Bee at 3 months in the exact same outfit. 

Willa's Workshop and Fairy Festival

My mommy heart had been craving some one-on-one time with Phoebes and Willa's Fairy Festival seemed like the perfect evening outing for us girls. We were first timers to the festival, which was wonderful and magical, even for the adults. Little fairy's (and pirates, and gnomes, too!) running all over the gorgeous host estate. All for a good cause. We met some of our besties there too, which made for a super fun glitter filled evening. The weekend before I made a quick trip to the craft store and was able to whip up a fairy wand for just a couple dollars. I like my wand, I mean her wand, so much I don't let her play with it. Ha! Spending precious time with my fairy was just what I needed that day.

Friends: Bee, Jane, Caroline, Leah, Gigi

Note: I read the festival raised over $27,000 that night to help open doors for women in education. Absolutely amazing.

"You can do anything you think you can. Knowledge is literally the gift of the gods, for through it you can solve every human problem. It should make you an incurable optimist. It is the open door."-Robert Collier

Bee in the Wild: 15 months

Note: Bee's grandparents were a little sad when we told them her blueprints were being retired after months 1-12. We live close, but not close enough for them to see her everyday. I know these updates are enjoyable for them to read and catch a glimpse into her life they might not otherwise know. I thought about using a white wall background to continue these "blueprint" type updates, but then I pictured trying to get this rambunctious toddler to sit still against a wall while we take her picture. Not gonna happen, right?! The new "in the wild" posts will aim to capture Ms. Bee in her element, un-staged, au naturale.
At 15 months old, this little sugar bee is busy learning and playing and doing all day long. The last few months we have seen the beginnings of her imaginary and pretend play. I love it! She loves to play with bowls and spoons and will "mixy mixy" with such determination. She even brings me the spoon for a taste test of her exquisite cookies, eggs, and other "yummy nummy nums."  When mommy is wearing her apron, Bee must wear an apron too. Often it's all she's wearing. Her pretend play also involves her babies, which comes as no surprise given that we talk a lot about babies around here. She mimics the way I tend to Julian by swaddling, burping, kissing and loving on her dolls. While I'm in the rocking chair nursing Julian she will bring me her babies and blankets to swaddle over and over again. She is learning to be such a good little nurturer.
As a parent it is amazing to observe her constant education and you can literally see her mind working as she processes new material. Bee loves books. We read stories together in the rocking chair before nap time and bedtime everyday and anytime in between. She points to all the ladybugs in every book, and in fact refers to ladybugs, butterflies, bees, and other insects as "bees!" She taps her pointer finger, either in the air or on the object, when pointing at something. It's adorable, trust me. Some of her favorite books include the entire BabyLit series, Little Blue Truck, Welcome, Little One, Goodnight Gorilla, The House in the Night, and The Swing to name a few.
Bee loves her backyard swing and calls it a "weeee!" When she wants to swing she will point outside and declare "weeee!" and when she sees swings or slides with children on them within her books she will point and exclaim "weeee!" Like most toddlers, Bee loves to be outside exploring and investigating. She still puts e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. in her mouth and rocks and sticks and dirt are no exclusions.
Bee is a really great sleeper and loves being in her crib with her binky and blankey. Some days she doesn't want to get out and leave binky and blankey behind. She searches the edges of her blanket until she finds the right corner and clutches onto it with her fist, then softly rubs the corner on her face as she soothes herself to sleep. Bee is taking two naps a day, at 10 am and 3 pm (roughly).
I bought a small set of stacking cups for Bee which has proved to be the best $4.88 I could have spent. Bee worked hard for days and days until she mastered stacking and unstacking all the cups in their correct order. She concentrated so hard on mastering the cups and it was a joy to see her brain hard at work. Cups all day, in the car, in the bath, and all over the house.
We taught Bee a few words in sign language to help her communicate better with us. The two signs that stuck the most are "more" and "all-done." This is particularly helpful at mealtimes, but she has found a way to translate them into the rest of her world as well. The sign for "more" has become the universal action signal. If she brings a book and signs "more" she wants you to read it. If it opens, closes, makes a sound or moves, the "more" sign is asking to make it happen. Likewise the sign for "all done" means no more food, no more vacuuming, no more of whatever is ailing her.
Lots of words are beginning to pop out of Bee's mouth, including cuppy, hi, Juju, momma, dada, bee, and baby. She has discovered the word "NO!" and uses it often and repeatedly, especially when she is doing something she shouldn't, such as stealing Julian's binky. She will snatch it from his mouth and run it over to me saying "no no no no no!"
Bee loves her little brother and is constantly leaning her head towards him giving kisses and hugs. Sometimes this translates into a head bonk and both of them are sad. Usually the first word that comes out of her mouth in the morning is "Juju!" and she goes running into our bedroom searching for him. She gets very excited to show him toys and books and as sweet as that is, it's also a lot of work keeping him safe from her excitement. I pray everyday that they will become the best of playmates, but for now we are focusing on being soft and not putting things in his mouth. Let's hope that in a year she will be as willing to share with him as she is now.
Whew! I'm exhausted just reading over this update. It's only taken me two weeks during my brief nap times breaks to finish writing it. Our Bee is a beautiful, smart, strong-willed little soul and we are grateful for her life and spirit everyday.

Summer nights in the canyon

 

On a perfect summer night there is no place better that up one of our beautiful canyons. We invited the whole Duncan clan up for a weenie roast in Millcreek Canyon. It was such a perfect evening with family. Dark heavy clouds threatened to rain but thankfully passed by and let us have our fun. Ellie and Cody ran wild while Dan pretended to be a bear in the woods. We played "the secret" game where you pass a secret along to each person and they have to retell it to the person next to them. Hilarious with kids, I say! And Bee got a hold of some cups and was in heaven. A perfect, beautiful night!

Pssst: Cecret Lake!

Seems it is always a giant undertaking to get out the door with these two babes in tow, which is why I've felt particularly cooped up this summer. By the time we are ready to finally go, someone is tired or hungry or poopy again. This hike was much needed and I never regret being up in the mountains once I'm there. Saturday morning we rushed quick as a cricket to get packed and up to the trail head before it was too hot and crowded. Turned out to be a gorgeous morning in the Albion Basin. On the way down the mountain both kids fell asleep in their carriers and Brad and I looked at each other with the biggest of big grins. I'll never forget it. We live in such a beautiful place! What a treat to get some mountain fresh air with the whole family.

This girl. This face. My heart!

Round. Tortoise shell. < $10. I never stray you guys.

'Sploring with mom

SIMBA!

Waving "hi" from her perch on dad's back

Aaaaaaand ZONK.

The end.

My summer vacation

Babyless. At the grocery store. International Isle. Walk reeeeeeeally slow. Bam! Instant vacation.

My life is crazy and good: a short rant about stuff

Hi blog! You're looking a little outdated, but I'm going to fix that ASAP. A few things. The last few months have been a whirlwind. Prego. Giant prego. Plus toddler. Packing. Moving. New house. Yay! Birthdays. Unpacking. Labor. Contractions. Never ending. Toddler plus stairs equals anxiety. LABOR. New baby. A boy! We luf him. Unpacking. Burping. Nursing. Kissing owies. So. Much. Poop. Not sleeping. Etc.
I'm working so hard to get caught up on all the fun that's been going on around here. I have draft posts by the millions just waiting for the perfect nap time when both babies are asleep. Yeah, that never happens. So it might take me a while to get caught up. I post things in chronological order, because of OCD, so if you're my mom and wondering why you can't see anything new...scroll down. Love you, my bloggie blog.
Oh. And one more thing. I don't wear makeup anymore. Thought you should know.

Just because: This is what Bee did when I said "show me your happy face!" Her hands are very happy everyone.

Juju's Blueprint: 2 months

Hunka Hunka Burning LOVE be still my mommy heart! Our little bud has sprouted up and out this month and is filling out those long limbs nicely. His hair is growing in a perfect natural mowhawk down the middle of his head. His legs are chubbing up just enough for mom to munch on during every diaper change. Juju is finding his voice and cooing and singing along with the rest of us. We are starting to see plenty of smiles and all our ridiculous goo-goo ga-ga-ing is paying off big time. Even after the longest and roughest of nights he can flash us a big gummy grin in the morning and in an instant all is forgiven. He is a heart breaker, this one. Juju LOVES his bath time. We would keep him in there all the time if we could, he loves it that much! We are making huge progress with his reflux (medication) and digestive issues (probiotics) and he's starting to have longer sleep patterns and more periods of happy contentment. Hallelujah! Julian's eyes match his namesake uncle Tom's, and are the brightest bluest blue I've ever seen on a baby. He loves to be swaddled tight for sleeping and is soothed best by white noise and motion. He also loves to suck his binky, which often saves the day. It seems as though he spits up everything he eats so it's any wonder to us how he's even gaining weight and growing at all. We rotate through 5 or so bibs and nearly a dozen burp cloths each day. Not to mention mom's clothes and bedsheets as well. Juju loves/wants/demands to be held all the time, which is tricky for mom when there are two babies vying for attention and only two arms in which to give it. Slowly but surely we are getting the hang of our new family dynamic. We're glad he's here, glad he's ours, glad he's feeling a little bit better. The happy smiley baby boy we know is in there is starting to emerge.
Nicknames: Juju, frog-man, buddy-bud, Jules, JT, bro.

Juju's Blueprint: 1 Month

Our little guy is already ONE month old! And what a challenging month it's been for him. Juju is experiencing a combination of acid reflux, digestion problems, and laryngospasms to top it all off. It's been wild :). Nothing breaks a mother's heart like seeing her babies suffer in any way. Julian will forever be our little Superman for spending a very unpleasant 36 hours at Primary Children's Hospital (more on that later) after finding him struggling to breathe during the night. He handled all the poking and prodding and tests like only Superman would. We are very humbled and thankful that we were able to bring Juju back home in full health. Mom and dad keep a very close eye on him from now on and are working with his pediatrician on managing the trifecta of issues that trouble him. We pray everyday that his body will outgrow the spasms and reflux soon. He is handsome and loves to be held ... so we hold him a lot! He rivals his big sister with his grunty and growly ways. Mom is cutting certain foods out of her diet to help his digestion issues, but so far it's all still a guessing game as to what is working and what is not. In the end, we'd do anything to help him feel better but mostly we're prepared to hold him, love him, and comfort him as best we can until he fully grows into this body of his. We love our Superman Juju and can't imagine life without him.