On Infertility: The IVF Process Part VI
While I'm traveling Down Under I thought I'd post some excerpts from my IVF Journal. At this point, you're wondering how many parts are there?! I'm long-winded, you should know that. But we're almost to the good part, I promise. It's been super scary to put these things out in the open, so thank you for allowing me this reflection.
Getting Back to Reality 4/14/2011
The
initial shock is beginning to wear off and I'm finally starting to see beyond
this little bump in the road. We can never understand why this seems impossible
and out of reach, but I know Heavenly Father has a plan for our family. As tough
as this reality has been, there have also been moments of understanding and tender
mercies the last few days. Brad and I are really leaning on one another and
this will ultimately bring us closer together. I've been promised in a blessing
that this will open doors that otherwise may not have opened. So there is hope
still! In the meantime I'm letting it go, learning to accept, and looking
forward to the next time. Because I am not done fighting for this.
Reeling
4/15/2011
I
feel sick in my stomach. Like there is a strong pain right where my babies are
supposed to be. My body can feel that something is missing. My mind is holding
on to something that was never there. My heart is still breaking. Again and
again. Over and over. And all I want to do is throw up.
Close your eyes / Clear your heart / Let it go
Posts
2 comments:
I love that we are almost getting to the really good part!!! I have LOVED reading these and I love and admire you for sharing your heart and your journey with us.
{and ps... I miss you like crazy!! come home already, would ya!!}
xo
i finally had some time and sat down to read all of these posts back-to-back. now i see why you are breaking them up...so heavy. i am so heartbroken for you (even though i know there is a VERY happy ending in the works!). i loved reading these and love that you shared your vulnerabilities. i completely understand those feelings, maybe not on the same level, but i get it. you are amazing, gina.
p.s. reading about your 30 minute wait after the conception was just about the cutest thing ever. and you are SO lucky to have brad. that guy is such a gem, seriously.
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