Bee had a bad reaction to her shot on Monday compounded by catching her first bug, and boy if that doesn't unleash a new brand of pain, with new pain smell and everything. We certainly can't keep her in a bubble and maybe going 4 months without getting sick was a small miracle to begin with. That first night - when she was running a fever, her nose stuffed all the way up preventing her from being able to suck a binky and she didn't want to be held but wanted me close enough for her tiny hand to clutch hold of my finger while she softly whimpered herself back to sleep - that was a killer. I simply could not sleep knowing she was hurting and sad, listening to her labored and congested breathing in the next room. The next day she decided she did in fact want to be held, all day, because if you're going to throw up it feels better to do it within the arms of one who will love you through the worst of it. This week we've logged a lot of hours in that rocker, draped in towels.
Babies get sick everyday, and Bee will be just fine, even a little more resilient for the next virus. But as a new mom, I'll never forget the first time I couldn't make it better.
This weekend, a very sudden and sad tragedy in our neighborhood has us reeling in heartbroken pain. These babies, every one of them, is a miracle. Every smile, every coo, the pouty lips and the inconsolable screaming is a blessing because they are here, in our arms, and we get to love them. Hug your babies.